PESTHOLE: It's 2002 AD, do you know where your children are?

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WARPED 2002
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Meet the Pesticles

These are America's youth. No, actually not. Because if we were America's youth, we'd be screwed. Think! Nick might become our president!
 
We thrive on the thrill of the street and the taste of defeat.

Down here below, this is Shea "Shea Guevara" Langner. He sings and plays backup on a shiny Schecter guitar. When he's not listening to his absolute favorites (George Michael, Air Supply, Flock of Seagulls), he enjoys selections from the pop-punk ranks (Blink-182, Green Day, New Found Glory, Sum 41, etc). He's very smart and is attending Wash U in St. Louis, as soon as he raises enough money by lickin' wieners. No, the only wiener Shea licks is Carrie's. Just kidding! Carrie doesnt have a wiener, cuz she's a girl. If she did though, Shea would probably lick it. Well, anyway. Shea doesnt lick wieners...he plays the flute......the skin flute! NO, hahaa, he doesnt. Well, he does play flute, but not skin flute. Oh, leave me alone. This is Shea. Yada yada yada.

Guess where he pulled this out of?

Waooahaooaoahapoaoaouahahwuhwhwowwuwhaoaooo

This is Matt "Matthew Vomit" Robertson. He plays a mean lead guitar, and he plays...guitar. Oh, to hell with the whole first sentence. Matt is a punker, with lots of metal influences to his style (Korn, Finger Eleven, Godsmack). His favorites, though, are Blink-182, MxPx, Pennywise, A.F.I., NOFX, the Descendents, the Vandals, etc. He spends his free time skating (that's skateboarding to you, fruit brooder!) and making out with girls, because he is "The Hot One". His wee-wee isn't small, though. His legs are just big. He is going to be a pornstar someday named the Itallian Stallion, after he gets some much-needed calf implants (ha, did you see that dude on MTV? what an idiot! now he dances at a gay club...hmmm....). Well, that's all I guess. Puns for spam!

Down here we have our rhythm section, commonly known as the "Slow Down, Guys!" section.

Ror! I'm gonna eat your asshole!

This is Andy "Andy Rotten" Dietz, bass player and singer. He listens to lots of punk rock, but some rap and ska/reggae/two-tone. His favorite bands are Rancid, Fishbone, AFI, Ramones, Beastie Boys, Guttermouth, Sex Pistols, Blink-182, and many others. Matt Freeman, bass player from Rancid, is his idol, and he often gets pissed and throws things while trying all night to learn Freeman's bass solos. He loves his girlfriend Jenny, and drives a racecar. Kind of. Actually, not at all. But sometimes he thinks it's a racecar. His punk name is derived from the king of punk jackasses, Johnny Rotten. Andy likes to pretend he's a Sex Pistol by putting safety pins in his clothes, but we all know he's a poseur.
 
And down here is Nick "Barney Penis" Naioti, drummer and singer for Pesthole. Nick also plays keyboard and turntables and harmonica and stuff and has too much damn stuff. He is the sole reason Pesthole is a functioning band (read about it here), and his mom feeds us brownies and changes our poopy diapers. Nick has some cats and stuff, and is more in touch with his goth and alternative sides than the rest of us. Nick doesn't even really like punk all much (except the Ramones), but he does like the Eels, Our Lady Peace, Finger Eleven, Nine Inch Nails, Spacehog, and many others. He can play the keyboard like a mofo and he and our pal Nathan write many good singer-songwriter type songs that they often play before Pesthole rocks it out. Nick is a goofball with dreadlocks, and he makes the rest of us laugh til we poop our pants.

Munchy loafy munchy loafy